Filed under: Attitudes and Mindsets
Since I seem to spend much time writing about basic thoughts and beliefs that we all carry around with us in our daily lives, I thought that I would share something at the end of this post that I found a while back. Let it be food for thought about thought. Quite a sentence, isn’t it?
We are met with standards and expectations, every single day. Standards that are set by others in our immediate surroundings, the media, and collective society as a whole. It always seems as though someone other than ourselves does the defining of terms, such as; success, wealth, beauty, health, illness, etc. Picture perfect standards that we all kind of know inside of ourselves may be a bit lofty to achieve at the rate and speed that is expected.
How many times have we all not trusted other ‘experts’ with our lives, well-being, and happiness? Some of it pays off. Especially, for example, if immediate healthcare is needed. There are those situations when it becomes necessary. Yet, other times we place our whole beings in the hands of outside specialists, and without consulting ourselves, first.
When it goes on long enough, and we see how longterm results pan out, it doesn’t make sense. We don’t necessarily feel happier, more successful, healthier, etc. That’s about the time we can grant ourselves a little disappointment, and self-pity. Why? It is because we have done a good thing in placing our ‘trust’ in people that claim to know more than we do. In addition, we don’t want to be left behind, just in case they are right. Yet, it is natural to want to throw one’s hands up in disgust, as the realization of, “I’ve been duped! I trusted that this would work, and I now see that someone wanted to profit from me” hits home. We trust fashion gurus, diet experts, pharmaceutical companies, this product, that product, government, and the list goes on.
To trust is a good thing. Life doesn’t lead to much of anything, if we don’t take that leap of faith, once in a while. Trust that is misused by others, is not such a good thing. Right? There are some real ‘people helpers’ in this world, also. Educators in different fields of work that really enjoy seeing people get better, and gain more knowledge. Unfortunately, many of these people are the most underpaid workers in society, and even though their work helps the wheels of society to continue to go ’round and ’round.
Let me see a raise of hands. How many out there just want to throw it all to the curb, sometimes? How many have just wanted to yell out, “Can I please be allowed to be me, and let that be good enough”? Have you ever just wanted to walk around in pyjamas all day long, and call that a successful day? I had to put in a little funny here. Seriously, though. I know that everyone knows what I am ‘talking’ about.
Who do we view to be authorities in, and about our lives? Do we have too many of them? Do we listen too often to others?
As stated in the beginning, the following is food for thought, about thought. Why not? After all, they do not come at a two-for-one price. Thoughts are absolutely free.
Do not believe in anything (simply) because you have heard it.
Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations.
Do not believe in anything because it is spoken and rumored by many.
Do not believe in anything (simply) because it is found written in your religious books.
Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders.
But, after observation and analysis,
when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the
good and benefit of one and all,
then accept it, and live up to it.
Guatama Buddha
Anguttara Nikaya Vol I, pp. 188-193, R.T.S.Ed
Do you listen to the expert in yourself?
Tamera Daun© www.pentad.no
image: http://www.urhome.umd.edu/CPMAG/summer00/images
As you develop, things change. Likewise, as circumstances change, you develop. As written in the last post, people would like to be happier, more successful, healthier, and have relationships that are more loving and satisfying. If people didn’t want better, they would not be working so hard in their everyday lives, in order to attain better.
The first dilemma rears its head when considering the best place to begin. A second dilemma is initiating personal development in the unknowingness of what will happen. Expectations are crucial to the process, whether they be perceived as positive, negative, or neutral.
Now, I have to tell you all. The subjects that engage me the most, are the subjects of ‘change’, and personal relationships/marriage. They are incredibly fascinating, and with regard to change, there is so much positive potential that resides in the concept. There is enormous dormant opportunity, and it is sometimes excruciating to observe the potential, ‘unused’.
I have worked with people, and processes of change for the past fourteen years, and began writing about the subject six years ago. As I researched and wrote, Absolute Bliss, a major theme became apparent. All of my professional experience kept nagging at me in the writing of a book that had the purpose of helping people. In much reading material that can be found out there, very little prepares people for what they can expect to experience. I’m talking about the tiny nitty-gritty details of the ups, and downs. I had to, and did, include this in my work.
The nitty-gritty of the process is where people usually give up. They are often times set up to feel like failures, although it is not the intention. Of course it isn’t. Yet, knowledge of what can be expected in oneself, and the reactions that can be expected from one’s surroundings is so very vital in perceiving development and change as positive. Even perceiving it as neutral is better than negative, because it is the negative that stops people from moving on. Most of us can agree on this, right?
What has always engaged me the most about the two previously mentioned subjects is the fact that children are affected. They are a population group in our society that have to accept all change that is imposed upon them. They have little choice, and for natural reasons.
Adults do their best, from what they know. We adults do not do better, until we know more. When we know more, we gain the opportunity to do differently. This is a point of empathy and compassion for the adult population. Adults try to instill good behavior, and important values in their children. You don’t even have to be a parent to be of importance. If you’ve ever been observed by a child, then you have played a role in the perception of their world.
However and to be bluntly honest, here is the bottom line. We adults need to do better, and that means that we need to increase our knowledge, and begin intitiating. We need to initiate within ourselves, and be more concerned with what we do, rather than what we say. This is because we ’say’ a lot to children, but we often times do not walk our talk, and this incongruence and non-alignment is what we end up teaching.
We can encourage our kids to engage in activities that will strengthen their sense of confidence, and self-esteem. Yet, the fact that outer recognition is only half of the equation of their sense of self-esteem, is important knowledge. We can tell children to behave, get along, and cooperate. However, they don’t buy into that when we show them the opposite, behind closed doors in our marriages. We adults would like for our children to have healthy relationships with themselves, yet behind those same closed doors, we teach them through example, the opposite. We want them to mature, yet we show them, and many times treat them, with emotional immaturity. We, ourselves, have not learned how to mature our emotions into adulthood.
Then we turn around and complain, “Geesh. Kids today”, with a disapproving shake of the head.
If adults would like a few excellent lessons in dealing and adapting to change, they would benefit from observing their children. They are experts in adaptation. Not only are they experts, but they are wise little people in explaining how the process actually feels. The younger they are, the more in touch with their emotions they tend to be. They may not have fancy words to explain them, but they are often times in better contact with themselves, than adults are.
Children don’t mind seeing their parents make mistakes, but they love seeing their ‘human’ parents develop and do better, even more. Why? Because, they love you, and they are eager to learn when they get a whiff of positive happenings in progress.
Please take a couple of minutes to read ‘for content’, this ancient archived and short article, Commentary. It begins on page 1, and continues and ends on page 3.
I know what I know, but let me hear you shout out your opinion.
Related articles;
What’s up with change?
How are You?
©Tamera Daun, www.pentad.no
Filed under: Attitudes and Mindsets
You know what? I became thoughtful a few days ago. So, what’s new, eh? A subject had caught my attention, and I am sure that most of you have discussed it at some point, or another. Truth. Do we want it?
I saw it written in an article that we do not want it. We do not want the bluntness of truth, and we do not want negative news. We want to be ’sold’, and protected. I do use those terms loosely, including our private lives as well.
Now, the reason why it is a downer, is because I have discussed this topic many a time with others. I try to keep the belief alive that people do wish the truth. Why? Well, to make better choices. In my personal opinion, to make good choices for ourselves we need all of the cards up on the table. This can mean our personal lives, and it can also mean our choices as a consumer.
Whether it be business, consumer goods, or anything about our personal self, we want to be lied to? Really? I don’t get that. Well, I guess I do. Sometimes it seems as if people will be crushed by news, because they deem it as negative and, well. Crushing.
I have heard it stated by former clients, for example, that if their partner has cheated on them, they would not want to know about it. Even though one of their core values regarding a relationship is commitment, with fidelity being one of the pillars of its foundation. If this is one of their core commitment values, they end up cheating themselves and their integrity. I know that one of the basic factors in couples overcoming and succeeding through infidelity, if they both wish to continue, is a timely presence of truth.
When governmental agencies lie to people, it can have dire consequences. The FDA’s food guidelines the past couple of decades over here in the US is a good example of that. People also know that they are being lied to, yet an overwhelming number follow the guidelines. Perhaps, they are just so exhausted from being ’stretched’ to their limits that they don’t have the energy to research for truth regarding their health.
Are we so hungry for quick fixes and material success that we easily fall for the sale, without taking the time to research the credibility of the service or product?
I know that the truth can hurt sometimes. Bill Gates would say that, ‘bad news must travel fast’, yet does it really happen as often as it should in business? It might mean ratting someone else out. Then again, what are the employees committed to? Their job, and the success of the business they work for? Or, their popularity?
Yet, isn’t it ironic that we love to hear about the bad news happening in other people’s lives? Especially if they are politicians. Nothing like the sordid details to keep us entertained. In those circumstances, we really want for the whole truth to see the light of day. We want to know it all! Do we revel in the painful experiences of others? Do we really want lives that are happy, calm, and truthful? Or, are we really dependent upon drama, conflict, secrets, and lies? And, fluff? Tons of fluff.
It may just be that we have no problem with truth, although we may be wary of all of the ways in which it can be communicated.
Too many questions, and too little answers. The subject of truth permeates every arena of our lives. Are we brave enough to hear it and state it, or do we wish to be protected? That is an interesting question.
Image; http://www.catalinsandu.ro
